Horrible

What do you do when you don't want to live...but you don't want to die either? I'm at that place now and it sucks. Im really hurting. 

My family is falling apart, my sister keeps on attacking me and hurting me and accusing me of things. My body and my mind is beaten down. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I didn't get out of bed all weekend. I laid in bed and cried. I can't do anything. My friends don't understand. No one does. I just want to go away. 

I'm at the point where I want to get a court order against my sister to send her into a hospital. I don't know if I can actually do that but I want to. I wish I could describe to you how horrible it is. 

Everything sucks

Words can't describe what this is like. If I could be dead I would in a heartbeat. 

My home life is horrible, every choice I make is horrible, and I just want out. I can't do it anymore. I really can't. 

This is something I can't fight alone and it feels like I am. Even though people are sometimes here, no one is always here and I can't talk about it anyway. Everything sucks. Nothing is good or happy or safe.