Part of my problem is that I am not confident about myself at all. I hate myself, so I think other people hate me too. For instance, if my friends start hanging out with other people a lot, I get insanely jealous. I feel like I'm being replaced, or that I'm no longer needed as a friend. I know it doesn't make sense, and I know it's not rational, but it's how I feel.
I'm always jealous of other people's happiness. I always think that I'm going to be replaced by someone because I'm really nothing special.
Last night I hung out with my boyfriend who I haven't seen in like a month because he's been away. He was mad at me because I was so quiet and shy. He hates it. But I can't help it, that's how I am.
I was sitting in his car and he was driving and I started crying. I don't know why, but I just got overwhelmingly upset. He didn't notice. I guess I'm a pro at hiding things like that too.
I think my therapist hates me. Whenever I go to her I barely talk at all. It's not that I don't want to...I just can't. I don't have the words. I pretty much just say "I don't know" to everything she asks. I miss Andrea, the other person I used to talk to at school.
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