I don't know what's wrong with me. So I got accepted into my top choice college today. So did my best friend. Awesome right? But why does that still upset me?
Because what if she doesn't want to go to school with me. What if she just wants college to be a time to get away from me? I wish we could dorm together and I don't want her to leave me but I think she will.
So what's my solution? Push her away obviously. I wish things didn't have to hurt so bad all of the time.
Speaking of pain, my legs are not better at all. I don't know if you remember me writing about this, but I've had four major surgeries for my legs in the past 2 years. My legs still kill me. It sucks.
When can I stop feeling so bad? I want to be happy and not feel alone. But it's probably my own fault. I need alcohol. I like numbing myself. Yeah I feel horrible the next day, even more depressed, but hopefully I cam just forget for one single night. Not like it ever happens like that though. Something just isn't right with me and it's more than just typical depression I think. I don't know. Is this just horrible depression?
Congratulations on getting accepted into your top choice college! That is great news!
ReplyDeleteI do remember you talking about your leg surgeries, and I'm sorry that your legs are still bothering you. Perhaps in time the pain will ebb..
Try God. Check out this website: www.passionfortruth.com. Yes, you are depressed, but I think you are looking for love too. I'm sure you're skeptical of the God thing, most people are-but just try it. What do you have to lose?