Misery

I'm just too numb for words. This weekend I worked 13 hours, made a good amount of money, but of course I had to give it to my parents. I came home exhausted and in a ton of pain.

I really wanted to go out and do something fun after work today just to de-stress  and escape my thoughts for a little bit but of course I didn't. No one wanted to do anything. I guess I'm too tired to do anything anyway.

I need to smoke and drink. I'm dreading school tomorrow. Just another day of torture. I keep having these nightmares...I'm sure that's not helping my insomnia. I've been having nightmares since last year but they just seem to be getting worse.

I need to know that this will get better. Because I don't believe that it will. It's not just kids who are depressed, it's adults too. So why would my depression just magically go away. Why not just end the pain now.

I need to be with someone who loves me and pays attention to me. I need to just be out of my house and I don't know how. I really am miserable.