I miss him so much. I'm never going to be able to stop missing him. If I wanted to, I could've been in a relationship with 2 other guys by now. I could be hooking up with them. But I'm not. I can't. I can't stop thinking about him and his new girlfriend who I'm so jealous of, and it hurts so bad.
Every time I see them talk on Facebook or whatever I die a little more inside. I want to text him, or talk to him, or see him or anything.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how bad he hurt me, or how bad I hurt him if I did hurt him, I just miss him and would do anything to have him again. I'd sell my soul. Well, whatever is left of it.
I just want to feel love, acceptance, and I want to feel like I'm good enough for someone. But I'm not. He was the only guy I have ever loved, and probably the only guy I will ever allow myself to love.
Who knows if he even still thinks about me. I wonder if I ever cross his mind, or if he ever thinks positively about me. I don't know. Probably not. Maybe it's just wishful thinking.
It hurts to know how he's doing things with this new girl that he used to do with me. It would be so much easier if she wasn't in the picture. It isn't about her. It's not a jealousy thing. If he was single I would've tried to talk to him a long time ago. But I don't want him to think I'm just trying to make things worse for him. I'm not. I want us both to be happy...together.
That's all I want. All I've ever wanted.
I wish he knew how sorry I was for everything that happened. Because I am. I hate myself for it every single day.
I'm not denying it that I handled it badly. I pushed him away so bad. I was so angry...but reasonably so. I was going through the most miserable time of my life and I pushed away the one person I needed the most.
I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry we got in that position, and that it ended so horribly and everything. I probably won't ever forgive myself for it. I know I never will.
I know exactly how you feel. Im deeply in love with my ex who can't be with me . He loved me so much but a family member of his made him break up with me and I guess because of my age. I miss him like crazy. When he left he took me right along with him cause he's my other half. He has my heart. And there is no other guy I wanna be with or love. Its my ex i want and need. And I wonder if he ever thinks of me. A certain person also made him block me from his Fb. We never even talk anymore. Gah, I wish we were still together.. He means everything to me. He was my one and only. It sucks when u can't be with the one u love and who loves u also. But what i can say is that no other guy has ever made me feel the way he did. I believe he's my soul mate. I felt so complete when we were with each other. It was so amazing. I just wish he would come back to me. I literally do need the guy. I care about him so much! I know exactlyy what you're goin through..
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