Invisible Children

Do you ever find yourself to be in a room full of people, but just feel horribly alone? Invisible even? That happens to me all the time. It sucks. I can never feel good enough, or connected enough, or anything. 

Even when I write on here sometimes I don't feel good enough. I find myself to write and then erase and rewrite and it gets frustrating. So then I won't write, and I'll get anxiety about it and it's a  vicious cycle. That happens not only in my writing, but with everything in my life. 

If I do something, I want to do it well. I want to exceed. If I feel like I'm just not doing good enough, I quit. I just give up. It really frustrates me. I want to be good enough. For anyone. I want to be loved and I would do anything to feel love. Anything. 

Desperation is not a pleasant feeling. 

As far as eating and all of that goes, I thought I was doing better. Truth is, I was just happy because I was loosing weight by sitting on the couch and using crutches and not eating as much I guess. I'm back to around 100 now which is good. 

I thought I was better, but today proved me wrong. I ate what I thought was too much and I didn't like it. I didn't like how it felt. So yeah I slipped back into some old habits. It doesn't make me feel better. Truth is, it just makes me feel even worse. 

I don't know how many of you guys have heard of this, but today I was doing a lot thinking about this and it's really important. Not important to me, or to you, but the world. It just puts prospective on things. 

As invisible as I'll ever be and feel, at least I'm not a child soldier. I'm help captive inside a depressed 17 year olds body, but I'm not forced to kill my family or anything like that. 

Truth is, we all are lucky. Please please please watch this video, and do what you can to help. Yes it's 30 minuets, but if I can sit through it willingly, you can all make time for it. You really need to. 

For me getting involved in important things like this makes me feel important. Maybe that's what my purpose is. So here I am, spreading the world. I got my a bunch of people on board already, and now I'm asking all of you guys to help stop this. 


http://s3.amazonaws.com/kony2012/kony.html  

Please watch. It really makes you think. Imagine what we can accomplish if we all just work together. Nothing is impossible with teamwork. Nothing.