I'm sick of having my heart beat so hard I can feel it in my ears. I'm tired of worrying about people judging me. I'm tired of people ignoring me. I want to start living my life for myself and not to please other people.
My anxiety attacks are getting so much worse lately. I just had another one now. I cut again today. Oh well.
I feel like I'm not even in my life. I don't feel like anything is real. It almost seems like I'm just watching someone else live my life and in not even participating in it. I stopped therapy today.
I wish I didn't have to worry about my parents judging me and criticizing me if I wanted to go into a hospital. I really do want to. I'm just so scared.
Even for the simple fact that I just need a break away from my house. I need something. Any kind of relief. It's getting harder and harder each day.
When I'm with my friends it's like I'm on a whole different planet. They just talk about things that I have no idea what the hell they're talking about. I always feel left out and it hurts. Everything hurts. And I'm scared.
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