Saturday, October 22, 2011

You don't know how I feel

According to my school, I'm a binge alcoholic. I disagree. I just like to drink like everyone else. Im craving alcohol now though. I like being numb and not having to feel anything. 

Numbness is better than pain. I'm hurting so bad and no one understand that. Its so frustrating. I can't take all of the judging and criticizing and everything else. 

On a scale of 1-10, my depression is about a 13. How I'm still alive, I have no idea. I plan on drinking a lot on Halloween and probably doing some other dumb stuff. Maybe then people will listen to me and take me seriously. 

It's like my problems only exist when it's convenient for someone else. Frustrating right? If any of you know what I'm trying to say, you know first hand how upsetting it is. 

I guess you just can't make people feel what you feel. 

1 comment:

  1. I know what your trying to say. And it is hard, because you can't make people understand. Until you have depression, you just can't know what its like. But I will say, I can understand why alcohol seems like the best thing. It temporarily takes away all your problems. But I just got into a dangerous cycle with the drinking, to the point where it was just destructive. I would do things that weren't characteristic of me (hook up with certain people, drive home). Then I would wake up the next day feeling even more depressed. I don't know what answer is though. I really feel for you, cause I'm dealing with all of this too.

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