Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Just typical me

Haven't eaten in a couple days, haven't taken my zoloft in a couple of days, and haven't slept in a couple of days. That makes for a great combination of things. 

I wish I could feel better. I wish someone would care. It's almost like, I've been screwed up for so long now, people just accept it. Like no one really does anything or cares because they think it doesn't still hurt or something. I don't know.  

Im in so much pain. Im sick of hiding. Sometimes I really want to just go into school with cuts all over my arm just to see what they would do. If anyone would even notice. Or if they would just think thanks typical me. Probably the last option. 

I feel like I have no friends. I have two best friends, but I feel like they don't need me at all. Here's an analogy for you. My one friend is like my other friends underwear. You always need underwear, and you're only without it in the bathroom or when you're having sex or something. I feel like that's the only time when they don't need each other. But I'm just like a necklace or earings. They only need me on special occasions, and no one would notice if I wasn't there. I'm easily removable. 

That's how I feel. I'm pushing everyone away pretty badly and I know my friends are getting sick of me for it. Oh well. 

I wish I could be sent away somewhere. Someplace where there are kids just like me and I don't have to go home or anything. And there's always someone to talk to who cares. 

Yes, I know you're ALL thinking I should just go in a hospital...but I can't. I just can't. It would be to much for my parents to deal with and I don't want to be trapped there with more people who are judging me. 

1 comment:

  1. I am not thinking you should just go into a hospital. I am thinking you need to get out of your parents house though. And keep "talking" to us, the people who read your blog. You often say, "I wish someone would care" or "I wish I had someone to talk to." Well, WE care, and we'll talk to you! You aren't alone!

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