Thursday, December 29, 2011

How can they do this? Why?

How can they all do this to me? How can my parents want to kill their grandchild? How could Brian want to kill his son or daughter? How could she just leave me like that? How can everyone betray me so easily when I need them the most. 

How is everyone SO selfish when I strive to live my life to be as selfless as I can? I just don't understand. Why did all of this happen to me? What did I do to deserve it? 

I know they say life's not fair, and trust me I know that, but this is just taking it above and beyond the normal realms of typical "life obstacles". I need help and I have absolutely no one. It's ridiculous! 

My life has gone to shit and there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix it or make it better. Im completely lost and alone. Am I going to make it out of this mess alive? I really just don't think so. 

I can't take being at home. It's so unhealthy for me. My sister is just getting worse and worse and taking it out on me and overdosing on her medicine nonstop and there is nothing anyone will do to stop her. 

I haven't left my stupid house once this break. Don't I deserve to go out and have fun and get my mind off of things too? No. I guess not. Because my best friend left me and took my other friends with her. And I don't think she knows just how bad that hurt me. How could you do that? How?

That's all I have to say about anything anymore. How and why. It just doesn't make sense. Doesn't add up. I'm going to die. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry that it's getting so hard to survive for you. I am also not sure that there's much that I can say that might help, but for now, what I can do is tell you to hold on...Keep writing...even if that's all you can do. People are listening to you, even if we can't do what we'd most like to (give you a hug and sit down to talk with you) we're listening and we're hearing how hard things are.
    You're right, it doesn't add up or make sense, but just keep going, tomorrow will arrive all on it's own, you will make it.
    www.thinking-about-leaving.blogspot.com

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