Rough day

I broke up with Mike last night. I did it because I wasn't happy with him. He was to immature and just didn't understand the parts of me I need people who are close to me to understand. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel. 

I'm getting surgery in 9 days and I'm so terrified. Because I broke up with mike, one of my best friends is super pissed at me. She told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. That really hurts. If she wants to walk out of my life, thats her decision. It sucks but I can't do anything about it. She ignored me all day and I confronted her during my lunch period and she ignored me and told me she doesn't want to be a part of my life anymore. It hurt me a lot. I went home after it happened. I almost had a huge breakdown in school. That would've sucked.

I'm so stressed out about everything. I'm not going to eat until I feel better about my body again. Probably around a 3 or 4 day fast. Not like anyone will care or notice. I only get in trouble by my stupid parents whenever people try to help me. It sucks. 

My insomnia is back with a vengeance. I haven't been sleeping at all. I hung out with my exboyfriend Brian last night and I just couldn't sleep at all after. I had a really nice time with him. I miss him a lot. We went to ihop. He made me eat. 

I like when he shows that he cares about me. I wish he could come to the hospital with me when I got surgery. I wish someone would. I hate hurting and feeling so alone.