No matter how many bad days I have, and no matter how dark and miserable everything seems, there are still those days where I wake up and I'm just determined to make it a good day. I mean, it's not like I want to be upset and down all the time. And yeah, sometimes it is to hard to try or I don't have enough energy to make an effort to have a good day, but there still are those rare days where I wake up just fully determined not to let anything get to me.
Today was one of those days.
Don't get me wrong, that doesn't by any means imply I'm successful when I do this. I mean, if I was successful, I would just do that everyday and I wouldn't be struggling with depression this bad.
I can usually fight back the bad feelings as long as no one is fighting at home and everything is ok. If I follow a good routine, I can generally make it until about noon. It's simple.
Wake up, go downstairs and eat my favorite breakfast (whatever food it is I'm craving on that particular day) and then watch a series of good shows that force me to think and hold my attention so my mind can't wander.
But then after that things usually fall apart because I realize I'm all alone and I just feel bad about stuff. I want to feel better about things. I want to have good days and just be able to feel good. So I'm always going to try. But I'm not always going to succeed and that sets me back a bit.
Oh well, I guess it's at least a good thing that I try right? You should try to. There's not too much harm there.
No comments:
Post a Comment