Alone

So I had surgery 2 days ago and I'm still in the hospital recovering. I feel pretty crappy but I'm hoping I can go home today, that'll be great. I threw up like 7 times the first night and it was really miserable, but I'm on a lottt of anti-nausea medicine right now so at least I can hold some food down. That's a good thing.

Last night was rough though. I didn't really sleep despite the fact that I was exhausted and I was just thinking about how alone I felt. I was texting my friends and I just feel like now that I'm not guna be in school and no one will see me everyone will forget about me.

I mean, out of sight out of mind right?
That's how I feel and it makes me feel really rotten and alone. I hate it. I'm scared I'm going to lose all of my friends and I'm just miserable about it. I seriously feel just so fucking alone and I just want someone to make things better for me. I know I have friends but it never feels like enough. Like I just want someone to show that they care.

Does that make any sense to you? I don't know, I just feel like between now and summer I'm not guna make it.

I wish so bad that someone would care about me and just be there. I can't do this anymore. But I can't write anymore right now, I'm soo dizzy :(