Is it weird that I feel as if I'm looking for someone to cling to? Or not cling to but just be close with and have a really good relationship. My heart just feels so empty right now and I have so much like love I want to put in to someone, but I feel like no one really wants to receive it. I don't know, I just never feel good enough for anyone.
I really think what I need right now is just a really close relationship with at least just like one person. But I feel like I can't even do that because I want them to make the first effort just so I know that they at least care.
Right now the worst thing for me is just this everlasting feeling of loneliness and I hate it.
It's not like I don't have friends. I do. And I have a handful of close friends. But it just doesn't feel like enough, or it doesn't feel real or I feel like maybe they don't actually care about me and they just act like they do to my face. I don't really know what the problem is exactly, but I don't know how to fix it. I think it's just the amount of effort the other person puts in that affects me.
I really don't know anymore. I don't know anything.
Is anything going to get better soon??? I sure hope so :(
Sometimes with depression I feel like I have a whole in my heart that no one can fill. I don't know what will fill it, but I know that I have to find it within myself, no one else can fill it - no close friends, not my husband, not my kids, not my friends.
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