Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ever feel this way???

Sometimes I'm afraid of my own head. My own thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I'm truly losing my mind. I think things that scare me. Is it normal to feel how I feel? To feel this alone..this empty. I just cant shake that feeling..the constant loneliness and emptiness... I hate it. Sometimes I just sit in a chair with all the lights off and the blinds down. And I just sit there motionless. Thoughtless. 

Zombie like.
There's a million things I could be doing. No, a million things I should be doing. 

But I can't. I can't even get myself to move. Why is it so difficult??

It's like I have a billion thoughts racing through my head, and yet I have no thoughts at the same time. 

Does that even make sense to you??????

I WISH I knew if this was "normal" for people like me. 

But even after all of this, I know I'm not crazy. 

I'm
Not
Like
Her. 

I never will be. She ruined my life and if anyone ever tells me I am like her...I don't even know what I'd do. It'd kill me. 

Look, I don't know who reads this, if anyone at all. But I'd love to know I'm not alone on this. I don't know, sometimes I really just worry myself. 

1 comment:

  1. i get anxiety attacks when i think of all the things i *should* be doing, but physically can't bring myself to do. i feel uncomfortable with my thoughts. they're not mine sometimes, it seems. i prefer to numb myself from them. internet. television. music. self injury. drugs. food. foods a big one. you're no alone

    ReplyDelete