False hope

Anxiety: bad
Depression: worse

Yesterday I was out with my friends. This new guy named  omelet was there. I decided I wanted to make a good impression on him, so I acted like I was the happiest, most confident kid in the world. What a joke. I don't know why I care about what other people think of me, but I do care. 

It's really frustrating because on Wednesday, the first half of the day I felt good. I didn't feel horrible and I thought maybe, just maybe I was going to start feeling better. Wronggggg. I completely crashed
Wednesday night and all day Thursday. I was in this ridiculous state of depression that I couldn't get out of. Today so far is the same. I don't plan on getting out of bed for anything. 

I've cut the amount I'm eating now down to one meal a day and a snack at some point. Not even hungry for breakfast today though. 

Everything makes me want to cut. Everything is a trigger lately. 

I had a good half of a day, and now I'm worse than before. False hope? I don't know. I wish my head would stop playing games with me. I wish I didn't have any good days because the ones I have never ever last and only make me feel way worse when there gone. 

For some reason I'm still fighting though. Who the hell knows why.