I've been asking myself that question a lot lately. I haven't come up with any answers though. But seriously, why am I here?? I don't have any purpose, I don't mean that much to anyone else where if I was gone, they wouldn't get over it in just a few days, and there is nothing that makes me special. I'm not my parents favorite kid, my brother is way more successful than I am and always will be, and I just don't see any real reason for me being here. Maybe everyone feels like this at some point in their life though. I wish things could be different for me. I wish I had something to look forward to or believe in, or just anything so I can think that maybe I'm good for something.
My depression is getting to that really bad point, and maybe that's why in thinking all of this but I don't know. I just don't want to be here. I hate myself more than anything and there's nothing that defines my life in a positive way. When people think of me, they think "Oh, that's that girl who got a lot of surgeries and doesn't come to school anymore". That's my legacy. And that sucks. I'll never be anything more than that. I just don't know why I'm here if all I'm doing is wasting money and resources.
Alright I guess I'll stop bitching now. Thanks for dealing with me I guess.
I am so sorry you feel this way. Would it be worth it to take a pill if you could live and most days not wish you were dead? This is not normal (it is our normal). You should not have to feel this way. Please talk to someone. You can email me amby mcgee at gmail dot com. I have had depression since I was a child and I am still working on it. Please do not hurt yourself. You are worth it. You deserve to be happy. Please email me. I think we have a lot in common.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Amby. You are worth it, and you have a purpose. I believe that God has a purpose for everyone, and you jut haven't found yours yet. You're not a waste of space or money. You are valuable to God and he needs you to stay alive, as does your family and your friends. You shouldn't have to feel this way, so I suggest you seek help and talk to someone as soon as possible. I mean, you don't want to feel this way, right? You want to feel good. Getting help can do that for you. I've been through what you're experiencing and still go through it at times. Feel free to e-mail me if you ever need to talk to someone, I check my e-mail daily. madelyn.heslet@gmail.com
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